BADMINTON ANONYMOUS

Hi, I am Hilario Makapalo (Reply of audience: Hi, Hilario). I am a badmintonholic. I am not a Level A player but I think of badminton 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I sleep with my racquets. I call them "my girls." I have three (3): Cindy, my first ever. A Yonex Carbonex Tour8 racquet; Pia, a Yonex MP100; and Kimi, a Mesuca MB102. Since Cindy is my first, she taught me the proper position and wrist-actions. She's not often used now but I still sleep with her. Pia's 2nd-hand, hand-me-down original. Sexy. Great body. Strong. Very stiff. While Kimi, my newest is an original from Tokyo. So tight! With a maximum muscle-control of 30lbs. But I had her gutted for only 26lbs. I don't want to wear her down.

I can't stop thinking about badminton. When I wake up in the morning, I see to it that the girls are placed in the walls. They should be seen by my visitors... in their pedestal. Before every game, I see to it that the girls are wiped dry, cleaned. I love them that way.

I go more often to the badminton courts than to the church. I pray in the badminton courts than the church. I skip dinner just to continue playing. If I have the resources, I will not go to work anymore but to the badminton court. If I can play alone, I will.

I called my boss, "umpire." My secretary, "linesman." When they made a mistake, I shout, "fault." When I want them to stop talking during a meeting, I call, "let." All the girls in the office in skirts looks like Zhang Ning to me. Wait, they're not girls... they're fucking boys! Transvestite callcenter agents! Sorry.. Going back to my problem... I need help. Please help me. Do you know of any badminton courts near Ortigas Center, other than West Drive, that is player-friendly, play-all-you-can all day?