OFFICE DYNAMICS

Cut and pasted...
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IBA'T IBANG KLASENG KA-OPISINA (SAN KAYO NAGUGRUPO?)

Sa mata ng isang boss, may isang dosenang klase lang ng empleyado.

CLOWNS - ang official kenkoy ng office. May mga one-liner na gumigising sa lahat kapag nagkakaantukan na. Sabi ng ilang boss, eto raw yung mga KSP sa office na dahil hindi naman matalino, o kadalasang matalino na tamad lang, eh dinadaan na lang sa patawa ang pagpapapansin. Pero aaminin ko, walang opisinang walang ganito, at kung meron man, magigigng malaking sakripisyo ang pagpasok sa work araw-araw.

GEEKS - mga taong walang pakialam sa mundo. Papel, boss, at computer lang ang iniintindi. Kahit na mainit na ang ulo ng boss at bad trip, ang mga geeks ang walang takot na lumalapit sa boss at nagtatanong kung mag-iiba ang result ng entry kung isa-substitute ang value ng debit sa credit.

HOLLOW MAN - may 2 uri ng H.M. virus, ang Type A at Type B. Ang type A ay ang empleyado na madalas na invisible sa office, bakante ang upuan, madalas absent. Ang type B naman ang pumapasok sa office bagamat present eh inivisible naman ang work, at hollow ang utak.

SPICE GIRLS - barkadahan ng mga magkaka-ibigang babae mahilig gumimik, sabay-sabay pero laging late na pumapasok. Madalas na may hawak na hairbrush at songhits [ngiyeh! how jologs!-gbs]. Pag pinagawan mo ng group works, sila ang madalas na magkaka-grupo.

DA GWAPINGS - ang male counterpart ng Spice Girls, isinilang para magpa-cute. Konti lang ang members nito, 2-3 lang para mas pansin ang bawat isa. Tulad ng Spice Girls, kadalasang puro Hair Gel lang ang laman ng utak ng mga Da Gwapings.

CELEBRITIES - Politicians, Athletes, Performers. Politician ang mga palaban na empleyado na mas nag-aalala pa sa kalagayan ng kompanya at mga kapwa empleyado kesa sa performance. Athletes ang ilang 'varsitarians' na kung gaano kabilis pumasok eh ganon kabagal mag-work. Performers naman ang mga empleyado na kaya lang yata pumapasok eh para makasayaw, kumanta, at makatula sa stage kapag organizational day. Sa pangkalahatan, ang mga celebs ay matindi ang PR, pero mababa ang IQ.

GUINESS - mga record holders pagdating sa persistence. Pilit pinupunan ang mga kakulangan sa katalinuhan. Sila ang mga kadalasang nagtatagumpay sa buhay. Masinop sa work. Mabilis mag-work, kahit na laging mali.

LEATHER GOODS - mga empleyadong maling uri ng determinasyon meron. Laging determinado ang mga ito sa harapang pangungupit, bulgarang pandaraya, at palagiang pagpapalapad ng papel sa boss. Talo ang mga buwaya sa pakapalan.

WEIRDOS - mga problematic employee, isunderstood daw, kadalasang tinatawag na black sheep ng office. May kanya-kanya silang katangian, konti ang kaibigan, madalas mapaaway, mababa ang evaluation, at boss's enemy.

MGA ANAK NI RIZAL - Ang mga Endangered Species kumbaga. Straight 'A' employees pero well rounded at hindi geeks. Boss's pet pero hindi sipsip. Busy sa work pero may oras pa rin sa extra-curricular activities, at gimiks.. Hanep!

BOB ONGS - Mga medjo matino na may sayad...

COMMONERS - mga generic na member ng class. Kulang sa individuality, at katangiang umuukit sa isipan. Hindi sila agad napapansin ng boss pag absent, at sa paglipas ng panahon, sila ang mga taong nakakalimutan ng mga boss at co-employees nila.

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MORE MANAGEMENT LESSONS

STORY 1

It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a lion is sitting outside his
cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
Fox: "Hmm. But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your great claws will only destroy it even more"
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed".

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.
Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV"
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"

The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral: IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A SUPERVISOR IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

In the context of the working world: IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe."

"The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible."

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STORY 2

It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm. What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool know that rabbits don't eat foxes!"
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf: "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit:"No problem. Do you want to see why?"

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to type.

Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?"

Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd!
Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"

As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.

Moral: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHO YOU HAVE FOR A SUPERVISOR.

In the context of the working world: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU.