One Liners..

When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I am not able to remember, what did I choose.
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My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.
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Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".
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There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don't and stop, unless they are used together.
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Panties are not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
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There are three stages to sex in a person's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
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Virginity can be cured.
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
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Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
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Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
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Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
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A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the Thing...
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Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.
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Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.
Johnny: Her mouth said 'no', but her ass meant 'yes'.
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Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone except you.
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Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
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Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
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Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many menstill sleep with their wives !!!
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